4/22/15

BLOOMING INSIDE

Well, yesterday was my 30th birthday. I do not feel like 30 at all. I feel like someone decided to give me the age that is considered to be appropriate for this period of my life, but I personally do not think it fits me at all. I do not know what age would I put myself into if I could choose one, I would prefer to be ageless. Just be and just exist without pressure of the age and the general opinion of what my life in a certain stage should look like. I am actually very satisfied with how my life is and what I am now. They say, well - lots of people say that thirdies are the best years of a woman's life from many aspects. I do not know; maybe they are, maybe they're not. I am entering this stage of my existence with no expectations at all. I did not get up in the morning trying to find a new wrinkle on my face or a grey strike in my hair. I made my morning coffee as usual and went to work. I did not spend my day thinking of what I've missed to do in life by now. I was thinking about my family and friends back home who I would want to have by my side for my birthday, for every birthday in my life forever; but not for celebrating or crying over my age or the time that is passing by, but just for enjoying the moment of being together. I was not questioning my opinions or decisions or how I was in my early twenties, trying to figure out what exactly changed ever since. I know things changed, but what is the point in comparing and thinking what could've been done differently? If I did one single thing in a different way, I would be someone else. I can only go forward, keep the wheels turning, sometimes be absolutely sure in my decisions, sometimes flip a coin to pick the turn on the next crossroad. Make mistakes, do the right things, but keep going without turning back... because going forward is the only way. No flowers bloom if they stay under ground. Going forward, going up... that turns your seed into a bloom.

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